Never Gonna Let You Go
by Kanzii
Summary: 4 years after graduation, countless struggles and tragedies, good times and bad, have yet again brought us together. Sometimes, you have to leave to find your way back home.
1. Prologue

_Whoever says life is easy, is a complete moron. Life is not easy, no matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter who you are or what you say. To those that mean the world to us, life is far from easy. Having raised my four year old daughter as a single mother taught me, that even the purest and kindest at heart will fall down. Even the luckiest will have a bad streak, even the loved will find themselves alone._

When my daughter, Lucy Natalie Rose-Scott died last June, my world fell to pieces. Everything I had ever known and loved was ripped away. It didn't matter that I was pregnant with my second child, a baby boy, who would be named in honor of my late uncle, Keith. It didn't matter that I had the love and support of my friends, family, and co-workers.

Nothing is worse than losing your first child, after so many turmoils, so many heart breaking moments, so many months spent in and out of hospitals nation wide, just trying to help your baby survive.

And never once, did I expect to lose her, that bright, summer day.

"_Mommy, I hurt," Lucy cried from her spot on the couch. I looked up from my book, and sighed. This had been an ongoing notion, ever since her most recent surgery that May._

"_I know babygirl, it's going to hurt," I tried my hardest to ease her pain._

"_No mommy, this is worse, this really hurts!" her sudden urgency behind the words forced me to rush to her side. My hands lightly brushed her forehead. She was burning up._

"_Okay, baby, we're going to visit Dr. May, alright?" I said, trying my hardest to keep my voice calm, knowing that the moment I panicked, my little girl would panic too._

"_O-okay mommy," she whined, as I quickly packed her old diaper bag with anything we'd need if we had to be admitted again. I was used to this. The last minute packing, the last minute hospital stays, this was routine._

"_Okay babygirl, ready for a car ride?" I asked tenderly, as I slipped a thin coat over her pajamas.  
"No, no," she whimpered. She reached for Hero, who came to her side instantly. "I want Hero to come," she added._

"_Dogs aren't allowed at the doctors, you know that silly," I said softly._

"_No one will feed him if we're gone," she whined._

"_I'll have Brooke come over to feed him, you know how much your Aunt Brooke love Hero," I said, trying my best to hide my irritation. Brooke actually hated Hero, but that's only because when he was a puppy, he peed on her designs. _

"_But mo-" she started, then gasped, tears welling in her eyes. _

_Enough was enough. I scooped her up, not caring at she was heavier than I should be lifting, and not caring when her boney knees dug into my belly. I had already asked the doctor if it could cause any harm to my unborn son. She reassured me that in the first trimester, it was unlikely. _

_We reached the hospital in record time, and as I excepted, we were admitted while Dr. May ran a series of tests. During that time, I only thought my little girl had a minor infection, something I had already been warned about._

_I called Lucas, but Lindsey, his new girlfriend and his publisher, answered his phone instead._

"_Can I talk to Lucas?" I asked, cutting right to the chase._

"_He's in the shower right now..." she said slowly, obviously confused as to who was calling._

"_It's his sister. His niece is in the hospital, and I was wondering if he could come by," I said shortly._

_I heard the sound of footsteps and crinkling as the phone passed hands._

"_Hey, I'll be there in 15," he said before hanging up._

_I called Nathan and Haley next. Both said they'd be there as soon as possible. Skills came along with Haley, since Nathan was at home with Jamie. When I called, I completely forgot that Nathan was still wheelchair ridden after his accident a few months prior. I didn't bother Brooke or Peyton, knowing that it would be too many people and too awkward. _

_I sighed and waited for the results of Lucy's tests._

_Later that night, with Lucas at my side, I got the news I had been waiting for. Lucy had a series infection, and would have to remain in the hospital until it cleared up. They were doing everything they could to make her comfortable, but her screams could be heard down the hall. _

_I didn't sleep that night to say the least._

_The next two days seemed to get a lot better. Color returned to Lucy's cheeks, and her fever broke. But she still cried herself to sleep more times than not, the pain still too much for the little girl to withstand. Skills and Lucas took turns staying with us, knowing that I needed moral support now more than ever. _

_It was on June 14th that Lucy's condition started to worsen, though Dr. May said that she was recovering at a normal rate. I was at her side when I noticed her fever had returned, and her heart rate started to quicken._

_Before I knew it, the room was full of doctors, but one voice rang out above the rest. _

"_Call a code!"_

_I felt someone come up behind me and turn me so I was facing their chest, but I didn't even know who it was. Probably Skills, since it was his day to stay, but either way, I didn't care. I couldn't watch as they repeatedly tried to restart Lucy's heart._

_Then I heard the words that would haunt me for the rest of my life._

"_Time of death, 10:53pm, June 14th 2011," Dr. May said softly. I felt my heart stop. My knees gave out, and whoever was standing beside me caught me just before I hit the floor._

"_Easy, c'mon Kitten," the voice said. I realized then, that it was Lucas. Aside from my mother and Keith and himself, no one knew that nickname. _

_I felt him sit against the wall as he pulled me into his arms. And there I stayed, crying my heart out for what seemed like a lifetime. _

_It was just yesterday that I was singing Lucy her favorite lullaby. Just yesterday that I was brushing her honey blonde hair. Just yesterday that I was telling her how much fun she'd have in kindergarten. _

_And it was over, in the blink of an eye, she was gone. _

I am now only 4 weeks shy of delivering my second child, my little boy, Keith Alan Scott Jr. The father? Probably one of my many one night stands from the last months of my time in New York City. Yea, I said it. I was a whore.

I felt hands wrap around my waist, and I turned to find none other than Lucas hovering behind me.

"How's my big sister doing?" he asked.

"Better," I said honestly. The last 8 months have given me a lot of time to heal, and though my heart still aches, though I still cry every night, I can function again.

"I'm glad," he said softly, as he hands came to my bulging belly.

"How's my little nephew doing?" he asked when he felt a kick.

"Great, actually, he's a kicker," I said with a laugh. The first real laugh since that bitter night.

"And how about you? Are you ready, I mean?" he asked gently.

"Yea, I think I am," I said honestly. I hugged him tightly, thankful that both my older brothers were being such a support.

"Good, because little Keith Jr. has to have the most amazing mom around," he said fondly, causing me to blush.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Tears welled in my eyes and started to pour before I could even make a move to stop them.

"Hey don't cry!" Lucas said softly as he hugged me again.

"I'm the worst mother alive!" I moaned. "I couldn't even save my daughter!"

"Hey, hey, shh, what happened to Lucy was not your fault!" he objected.

"But it's because of me that she was born early," I cried as he forced me to face him.

"Never, ever, in a million years blame her death on yourself," he demanded, his eyes both tear filled and angry.

"I can't help it." was all I had to say to that.

* * *

"Hey! I'm glad you made it!" Haley chimed eagerly as I stepped around the curtain at Tric, smiling at one of my best friends.

"I told you I'd be here, didn't fill my spot, did you?" I asked lightly, my right hand resting on my stomach, my left holding my guitar case.

"Never! I told you, if you didn't go into labor, you would be on tonight!" she said with a laugh. "But no popping out a baby here, okay?" she added.

"I have 3 weeks still! I don't want him here any sooner than that!" I said with a warmhearted laugh. It had been Haley's idea to write a song in dedication to Lucy, and so I did. She fell in love with it, and offered to let me perform it at Tric, which I agreed to do, on one condition.

"You still owe me that autograph, Mrs. Haley James-Scott!" I said with a laugh as I opened my guitar case.

"Oh! I thought you were kidding," she admitted.

"Nope. Your godson is going to want to have a little something as proof that his beautiful and talented godmother was a famous singer!" I said. I smiled brightly when I saw the huge grin cross her face.

"I thought Peyton and Lucas were going to be the godparents of your children," she said shyly. Luke and Peyton were Lucy's godparents.

"They were," I started, nodding to myself as I took a deep breath. "But all things considered, and mainly, because I hate Lucas for choosing Lindsey, I decided that you and Nathan would be the official godparents this time. Peyton, Brooke and Luke the unofficial," I finished with a sigh. I never knew what could happen, and I knew the old crew would have no objection. Especially since most deemed themselves Keith's aunts and uncles as it was already.

"Alright then!" Haley said, practically squealing with delight. I smiled brightly, letting her hug me as I turned to Peyton, who was watching, her eyes shining.

"Thanks," she said softly, sincerely. She knew I loved her, and that she would always be the one I wanted to see Lucas end up with. Everyone knew he was still in love with her, even if he didn't know so himself.

I nodded, then took a deep breath, a I walked onto the stage.

I surveyed the crowd, trying my hardest to pick someone, or something, to focus on. Suddenly, my eyes caught sight of the one quote that always made me feel better. A quote I would remember for the rest of my life.

_Somebody told me that this is the place where everything's better and everything's safe._

"Good evening guys!" I called out to the crowd. I was delighted when most of them cheered. I took a deep breath, as my eyes settled on Lucas. I used to sing around him when I was younger, and figured, if I could do it then, why not be able to now.

"This song is dedicated to my late daughter, Lucy Natalie. Fly high babygirl, I know you're watching down," I said softly into the microphone, almost losing my edge as the words left my lips.

I started playing softly, letting the house band learn the harmonies, before I began singing the only song that has brought me any comfort lately.

"And as the world shows no mercy,  
The coldest nights ahead,  
I'll remember my beloved daughter,  
As I rest my restless head.

And as my heart breaks more each evening,  
I'll remember your smiling face,  
And I'll remember that good needed an angel,  
He needed your purity, your grace. " I finished the song, tears in my eyes, as I stepped off the stage. Haley and Peyton were both telling me how well I had done, but I pushed past them, not wanting them to see the tears in my eyes.

I went out the back door and took several deep breaths, before walking back inside. I sat at the bar, and smiled softly to myself, remembering the first night after Lucy's death, how Lucas had found me sitting at the bar, sober as ever, with tear filled eyes.

"Hey sexy mama," a voice came from behind me. I had no idea who the man was, but I wasn't in the mood for drunk, overly friendly men. I stood up, and started to make my way through the crowd when he grabbed my arm.

"Not so fast, prego," he growled. The smell of alcohol blew off his breath as he pulled me towards him.

"Get your hands off me," I growled, beyond pissed.

"Are you a prissy little thang. Why not take daddy for a ride? I bet a pregnant slut like yous got a lot to give," he purred.

"I said, let go!" I practically screamed as I pulled away. He then did the one thing that not only set me off, but set my youngest brother, who was watching intently, off.

He slapped my ass.

"You filthy son of a bitch!" I screamed as I freed my arm from his grasp.

"Don't you dare touch her like that," Nathan roared over the music, at my side in seconds flat. He was ready to hit the asshole, when Haley flew between them.

"Nathan, he's not worth it, walk away," she hissed.

"You're lucky," Nathan growled.

"Not that lucky," someone hissed from behind. Next thing I know, someone I'd never seen before decked the asshole with such force, that he flew a few feet before crashing to the ground.

"You don't treat any of the Scott ladies like dogs, dick," the man growled, before turning to face me.

"Thanks," I said, slightly stunned.

"My pleasure Miss Scott," he said, flashing a bright smile. He then looked at his hand, which was already swelling from the force of his blow.

"Go ice your hand," I said with a soft laugh as my maternal instincts kicked in.

"It's fine. What about you? Are you okay?" he asked, eying my stomach knowingly.

"I'm absolutely fine, between you and my brother here," I said, nodding at Nathan, who was staring at the man in confusion, trying to figure out who he was and how he knew me. Haley had the same look on her face.

"You probably wonder who I am," he said with a short laugh. "We met in New York, when you were taking your daughter to the doctors," he said, letting the sentence hang, allowing me time to remember.

"Right! You're Damian!" I said suddenly, remembering who he was. He was there the same day as us, with his infant daughter.

"How's Ana?" I asked.

"She passed away in January," he said with a slight shake of his head. He had lost his daughter only months after he had lost the mother to his child.

"I am so sorry," I said, feeling his pain.

"As am I, I knew how close you were to your daughter," he said, his face full of sympathy. I instantly felt safe with this man, despite not knowing much about him at all.

"Oh! Damian, this is Nathan, my brother, and Haley, my sister-in-law," I said brightly.

"A pleasure. Nathan, Scott right? The basketball player?" He asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Former basketball player," Nathan correctly gruffly.

"I heard about the fight. That's why I stepped in tonight. You're going to make a comeback, you know that," Damian said. Something about him reminded me of Lucas.

"Didn't your other brother write a book?" he asked suddenly.

"Lucas, yes," I said, unable to hide my smile. This guy was good. "What have you been doing? Stalking me?" I kidded.

"No, silly, I was born here in Tree Hill, but moved when I was 15, I remembered the names of the Mayor...er...former Mayor's kids pretty well. Considering two were damn good basketball players and the third was the best jockey this town has seen!" he said with a laugh.

"Oh!" I laughed brightly. That reminded me of Legacy.

"I'll be right back," I said as I excused myself.

I walked outside and dialed Madison's number. We hadn't spoken much since she moved away, but I knew she was keeping in touch with her father, ever since he was forced to sell the farm.

"Hey, Maddy, just wondering something real quick, what ever happened to Legacy?" I asked.

"My dad brought him with him when he moved. Legacy and All Star for that matter, your two favorites," she said with a soft laugh. "They're out in Texas right now, last I knew."

"Okay, I was just wondering," I said. After a few minutes of small talk, I said goodbye and wished her well, as she did the same.

I walked back inside to see Lucas examining Damian's hand.

"I think you broke it," he said matter of factly. The crowd had died down, as Tric prepared to close for the night.

"I have to agree with you there," Damian said, wincing at Lucas's tender touch.

"Let me see," I said softly, brushing past Lucas. I softly took Damian's hand in mine, and put a little pressure on the swollen parts. I couldn't help but shake my head.

"You dislocated these knuckles," I said, pointing to the ones that were injured. "And possibly broke a small bone or two," I added.

"When did you become the medical genius?" Nathan asked.

"Since I realized that between you and Luke, Brooke and Peyton, and our children, the likely hood of someone getting hurt is inevitable, so I took a few classes on first aid while I was in New York," I said with a laugh. "And good thing I did, since my son is probably going to be king of getting himself hurt, if he's anything like his uncles!" I laughed.

"Hey!" Nathan and Lucas said in unison. I threw them both a smile as I pressed the half melted ice back onto Damian's hand.

"Owen," I called from across the now almost empty club.

"Yea?" He replied.

"More ice over here, would you?" I asked, flashing him a bright smile. He brought it over, shaking his head.

"Bar fights are becoming a Scott tradition, huh?" he asked.

"Nooo," I laughed. He wasn't referring to Nathan, he was referring to the time I kicked this girls ass back 4 years ago, right before I moved to New York with Lucy. "And she deserved it! She called my brother a man whore!" I argued. Owen only shook his head.

"Stop starting trouble Lady Scott," he teased.

"Stop being an ass," I retorted, as I threw him an annoyed glare.

"Isn't it time you head off? You look tired," Damian noted, just as Lucas opened his mouth to suggest the same.

"True. I guess I'll take you and Peyton home?" I called to the pair who were sitting at the bar, talking in hushed tones with Owen.

"Naw, we're good," a very tipsy Brooke called back. I shook my head. I knew Owen wouldn't let them drive drunk.

"You want me to take you to the hospital to get that checked out?" I offered Damian.

"I'm good, but hey, thanks for hanging out tonight, you're pretty chill," he said with a smile. I returned it and agreed, before hugging both my brothers, Haley, and Lindsey, even though I wasn't fond of her. She made my brother happy. At least, so he said.

Once home, I did a quick once over of Keith's nursery. I had refused to convert Lucy's room, so Lucas and Nathan spent an entire weekend turning my old bedroom into a beautiful nursery, complete with pale blue walls, a crib, my old rocking chair, and countless other things. I appreciated their hardwork than I dared to let them know. I never would have been able to do it without them. And leave it to Brooke to fill the unborn babies closet with countless outfits, more than I think he'd ever need.

I retired to my freshly done room, and curled up under the thick comforter, for the first time in ages, appreciating the silence, my two dogs sleeping at my side. Hero, who was still lonely since Lucy passed and Karma, my new addition, an overly friendly pit bull, who I was sure would become a true member of the family one day.

* * *

3 weeks later...

"Easy, breathe," Lucas coached from his position next to me. I gripped his hands and did my best not to break them as I pushed. Upon learning that I was pregnant, we agreed that Lucas would be my coach come the day.

After nearly 12 hours of labor, my son was born. He had been due two days before, but I was more than greatful to have carried him full term.

"Congratulations, Miss Scott, you have a beautiful baby boy," my doctor said brightly, as she handed my son to me. He was screaming his head off, but as soon as he was in my arms, he stopped crying so hard and looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

"Welcome to the world, Keith Alan Scott, welcome to Tree Hill, Son," I said tenderly, my heart swelling with warm and love.

They say childbirth is the most painful and most amazing experience a woman will ever go through, and they're right. I never thought I would have been able to live with Lucy's death, but seeing my healthy, handsome son for the first time, made me feel whole again. And thought Lucy would always be in my heart and soul, her baby brother now had a strong hold over my every move.

I was more than relieved when, 3 days later, I was released from the hospital, my newborn son in my arms.

"Ready to go home?" Brooke asked. She had been more than eager to offer to drive us home.

"Yes, but I want to go visit Keith first," I said, and as soon as the words left my mouth, Brooke instantly knew exactly what I meant.

We drove to the cemetery in silence, both of us remembering back over 4 years ago. I found myself looking at my son, as I felt the car stop.

Taking Keith Jr. in my arms, I walked to the headstone and sat down.

"Look Keith, it's your little great nephew. And great he is, just like his uncle. You know, if he grows up to be half the man you are, I'll be the happiest mother alive," I said. I reached with one hand, to lay it on his headstone. I looked at Keith, and much to my amazement, he was staring at the headstone, his eyes watching intently, his eyes flicking in my direction with every word.

"Keith, meet Keith Junior," I said softly, as I placed a kiss on my son's head. "Take care of Lucy until I get there," I whispered.

Next I walked to my mother's headstone. Though she had been cremated, I had insisted on placing a stone as well. I sat down and smiled at the inscription.

"Hey, mom," I said softly. "I want you to meet your grandson, Keith Alan Junior," I said as I felt tears well in my eyes. "I know you'd be proud mom, I promise, I'll make sure he's as good a man as his uncles are," I softly promised.

Lastly, before I was ready to leave, I paid a visit to the hardest grave there was in the world for me. My daughter's.

"Good morning, beautiful baby, I bet you're thrilled to know you've got a baby brother. Keith will always know you, princess, I'll always make sure you live on. Mommy loves you, and mommy is so sorry that you had to go. But God needed a new angel, and you needed him. I love you babygirl," I said, as a single tear fell from my eyes.

At the sight of the tear, my three day old son did something remarkable. He reached up, and with his tiny hand, he caught the tear before it could fall. I knew at that moment, that the three lost loves of my life were watching down on us, protecting and loving us, from up above.

I never used to believe in fate. Not until the day my son was born. I used to blame the pain, heartbreak, sorrow, despair on anything but fate. But in that silent moment, that moment my newborn son reached up and wiped my tear, I suddenly believed. I believed that everything would be okay. That everything has happened for a reason, and that life kept moving forward, with or without you.

And in that moment, I was able to breathe again.

Thanks to my brilliant son.

They say parenthood is always a challenge. That there will be good and bad days. And they're right. Being a mother is hard. Especially a young, single mother. But there is love and support around every corner. And there will always be moments when you're left asking why. Why my child? Why my life? Why me? But in those moments, those moments when everything seems dark and broken, you have to keep moving forward. You have to find the strength to go on. Because when you are a parent, there is always someone much younger, much smaller, and much more afraid than you are, that needs you to protect, love, and defend them.

Yea, being a parent isn't easy. But it is the best gift of all.

* * *

_AN: 4 years later...so much has changed, right? This one is going to be a lot longer, a lot more planned out, and best of all, this one is going to be a lot more dramatic, but in a good way! _

_Reviews are always welcomed!_

_Part 2 of the trilogy!_


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you want me to put the dogs outside?" Brooke asked as we reached my house. Though I had given it a lot of thought, I had decided to keep the house after moving to New York, because the house held a lot of memories, for one, and for two, I loved the thought of still living around the block from Lucas. Even if he was rarely home these days.

"No. Hero won't be a problem, and Karma will only be curious. It's easier to get the introductions down straight out," I said brightly, as I lifted Keith from his car seat. I swung his diaper bag over my shoulder like a natural, and carried my little miracle up to the front door, waiting for Brooke to unlock it.

Once she did, I was greeted by two very hyper dogs. Hero saw Keith as soon as I stepped in, and instantly went and laid down next to the fireplace, knowing better than to get under my feet, having been stepped on countless times when Lucy had been a baby.

Karma on the other hand, took it upon herself to stand on her hind legs to get a better look.

"Karma, sit," I commanded, and despite her intent interest in the bundle I held, she did as I asked. I knelt next to her, Keith gurgling happily as Karma sniffed his blonde head.

"Karma, you're not the baby of the family anymore," I cooed as she lightly licked my sons head. I couldn't hide my smile. Despite everyone's fear and concern when they learned I had adopted a young pit bull just months before my son was to be born, Karma has time and time again proved to be nothing but a sweetheart.

"Good girl," I said as I lightly rubbed my hand against her nose. I knew I wanted my son to be raised with a dog or two, since unlike Lucy, he'd never be able to learn the true bonds formed through my horses, not unless I ended up taking him out to the recently renamed stable I grew up riding at.

I carried Keith to his nursery, noting that he looked ready for a nap. After nursing him and changing him, I laid him down gently, and sang softly until he fell asleep. That was when I noticed Nathan standing in the doorway.

"You're a great mom, Kai," he said softly as I walked over to him.

"Thanks," I breathed as I dimmed the lights.

"Damian's been asking about you," he added with a slight smile.

"Is that so?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yea, he wanted to know if you were up for non-family visitors," he said with a soft laugh.

"I have little control over that. Everyone wants to meet Keith," I said with a laugh as I led the way down to the kitchen. It wasn't until I got there that I realized I was starving.

"Want something to eat?" Lindsey asked. I hid my disgust as I glanced at my brother. As much as I hated Lindsey, I was happy for Lucas. He really loved her, maybe not as much as he loved Peyton, but those two had something stronger than just a fling going on.

"Sure," I said as I went over to hug Luke. It was no surprise that people were walking in and out of my house as they pleased. That was the beauty of my place. Anyone was welcomed, as long as they didn't make any move to harm my son.

I walked out into the yard, the baby monitor clipped to my hip. With Brooke upstairs in my bedroom changing, I felt no issue with leaving my son upstairs. I knew she wouldn't come down until I went back up.

I looked around the yard and smiled, shaking my head. One of the boys had mowed the lawn and installed a fence around the pool, fixed the grill and even set up a swingset. I was happy, but my eyes weren't looking for all the new renovations. I was looking for my younger dog.

"Come here, Karma," I called when I spotted her, laying in the sun, Hero watching over her like a hawk.

She ran to my side, her tail wagging. I knelt down, and hugged the wiggling puppy. She was hyper, and I made note that I would have to take both dogs for a walk soon, a task I was a little worried about, seeing how I would also be pushing a stroller.

"Thinking about how you're going to walk them?" a voice came from behind me. I turned to see Damian holding a big brown teddy bear in his arms. I hid my smile as I walked up to thank him.

"Actually, yes," I admitted as I took the bear from him and started upstairs.

"I could help," he said softly, not pushing his offer on me, simply offering.

"That'd be great," I said as I turned to him. I suddenly felt like I had all those years ago when I first fell in love with Cody. His bright hazel eyes made my heart skip a beat. I couldn't help but stare at him, as he smiled brightly.

"Your son is adorable," he said, breaking the silence as we reached the nursery.

"Thank you," I said softly, as I set the teddy bear down in the rocking chair. As if on cue, Keith woke up, letting out a shrill cry. I went to the crib and smiled at him as I picked him up.

"Hey, hush now, silly boy," I cooed as I held him close. He let out a gurgle that almost sounded like a laugh a I kissed his head softly. My heart warmed at the sight of my son. My precious, little son.

"Aunt Kai!" a high, happy voice rang as I was walking down the staircase, Damian close to my side, Keith, still whimpering in my arms.

"Hey, look who it is! My favorite nephew!" I sang as I knelt to give him a hug.

"Is that your new baby?" he asked with an adorable smile.

"Yes, this is Keith Junior," I said brightly, as I moved the blanket a little so Jamie could get a better look.

"He looks like Grandpa Dan!" Jamie said, his eyes twinkling.

"Actually, he looks more like Luke in my opinion," I objected, looking at my baby boy. I smiled to myself, Jamie probably never saw any of Luke's baby pictures. Keith could have been a carbon copy, if he hadn't inherited my dimples and semi-wavy hair.

"He's cute. But where's his daddy?" Jamie asked innocently.

"Well Jamie, that's a very hard thing to explain," I said simply, before giving him a one armed hug.

"Okay. When he gets older, I'm going to teach him to play basketball like my dad," he said matter of factly.

"I'm sure you will!" I said with a soft smile. "Do you want to help me feed him?" I added over my shoulder as I walked to the kitchen. Though the plan had been to breast feed, Keith was being a stubborn baby, so I resorted to pumping and bottle feeding him, as I had with Lucy.

"Yeah!" Jamie exclaimed eagerly. I told him to sit down on the couch while I fixed the bottle, Keith still in my arms.

"Aunt Kai, what happened to Lucy?" Jamie suddenly asked. I looked up, and nearly dropped Keith, but Lucas had been watching the whole scene play out, and was at my side before the boy could slip from my arms.

"Jamie!" Haley scolded from her perch by the piano.

"I was just asking," Jamie muttered sadly.

"Jamie, come here," I said lightly, as I handed Keith to Lucas, who took him, eying my carefully.

I nodded at Jamie, who followed me up to the pink bedroom. The only room in the house that I kept locked.

"This was Lucy's room," I told him, though he already knew that. I sat on the small bed and patted the spot next to me. He sat down, watching me intently.

"Lucy was very sick, since she was a little baby," I told the five year old. I gave him a hug as I went on the explain how she was in and out of the hospital constantly, and then, the hardest part to tell my young nephew.

"Lucy passed away in June, her heart stopped beating, and she joined your great uncle Keith in heaven," I concluded, watching his face to see if he understood what I had said.

"Oh," he said sadly, then looked up at me "Is that why you named Junior after Keith? Because Keith is up there taking care of Lucy, while you're down here taking care of him?" he asked innocently.

I couldn't help but smile as I replied, "Yes, that, and the fact that your great uncle Keith was like a father to me. He was the bravest, most amazing man I've ever known."

"I wish I could have met him. Dad and Mama always say we'd have gotten along. What happened to him?" Jamie asked. I took a deep breath, not sure what Haley and Nathan wanted me to say to that.

"James, Keith was mur- Keith was killed by a very bad man. That man took him away from us forever, and we'll never be able to forgive that," I said as honestly as possible.

"That's not fair," Jamie said, tears welling in his eyes.

"Life's not fair, Jamie. And the sooner you learn that, the better," I said, a little sharper than I had meant to. I looked up to see Nathan standing in the door way, his face pained, but his eyes knowing.

"Let's go, kiddo," Nathan said softly, knowing I didn't want to sit in the pink bedroom any longer.

"Hey, Kailyn?" Damian called from just outside my front door. Everyone else had finally left, leaving me free to relax after a very busy first day home.

"Yea?" I called as I turned around. Keith was down for another nap, and both dogs were curled up in front of the fireplace, their eyes locked on the flames.

"I just wanted to say, if you ever need anything, a friend, a hug, a babysitter, I'm here. I'd really love to get to know you better, you seem not only to be an amazing mother, but an amazing woman too," he said, flashing at drop dead gorgeous smile of his.

"Thanks, I'd like that," I stammered, unable to take my eyes off his.

He came over, and pulled me into a hug, then, ever so softly, he kissed me. The kiss sent my heart racing, and I instantly felt like I had known him my entire life.

To say sparks flew, would be an understatement.

* * *

I rolled over in my bed and looked at the clock. 2:15 am. This was the 18th time since 8 that night that Keith woke me up, crying his eyes out. I groaned and was almost tempted to go back to sleep, when I remembered that unlike Lucy, who would cry herself out and eventually fall back to sleep, Keith would keep crying until someone picked him up.

Getting out of bed, my head swam from exhaustion. I was used to a quiet baby, not one that wailed all through the night. Slipping on my housecoat, I padded down the hallway to my son's room.

"Hush, Junior, it's okay," I sighed as I picked the little boy up. I sat in the rocker, and hummed softly as I rocked him back and forth. Finally, he fell back to sleep.

I put him back in his crib, and yawned hugely. I was about to head back to bed, when I tripped over Karma, who was laying in front of Lucy's old room.

"Karma, c'mon," I muttered to the puppy. I could have sworn I set up the babygate at the bottom of the stairs, since I didn't the dogs upstairs until Keith was sleeping through the night.

I led her downstairs and closed the baby gate, yawning again. I was beyond exhausted. By the time I reached the top of the stairs, Keith was crying again.

"I give up," I moaned, as I dug my cell phone out of my pocket. I dialed Lucas's number, knowing my brother would come over if he answered.

"Mmmm who's dying?" he grumbled into the phone.

"Me if this child doesn't stop crying," I moaned. I wiped my eyes, nearly falling asleep where I stood.

"Try a bottle," Lucas said absentmindedly.

"He's already been fed, and burped, and changed," I said with a huge yawn.

"I'm on my way," Lucas muttered quietly, before I had a chance to ask.

Two minutes later, Lucas was knocking on my front door, having forgotten his key.

"Hey," I said tiredly as I pulled the door open.

"Man, that kid has a set of lungs," he said tiredly as he heard Keith's loud cries.

"Tell me about it," I agreed as I pushed him up the stairs. I leaned against the wall once there, too tired to move.

"Go to bed, I'll get him to sleep," Lucas said with a yawn.

"Mmm," was all I managed as I slipped to the floor, falling asleep almost as soon as I hit the floor.

"Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai," Lucas groaned as he scooped me up.

"Let me sleep," I muttered into his warm chest. I yawned hugely, feeling like a little kid again.

"Sleep," he muttered as I felt the soft material of my bed. I snuggled into the thick comforter, way too tired to say anything else.

I woke early the next morning, to find Lucas sleeping next to me, Keith between us, staring at me with a little smile on his lips.

"Morning," I said softly, as I picked him up and put him on my chest. He gurgled happily, his blue eyes shining like sapphires.

"Good morning, sleepy mommy," Lucas mumbled, his face pressed in the pillow.

"Morning, my hero of a brother, you," I said with a laugh. I stood slowly, shifting Keith into my arms.

"I'm guessing you had little luck?" I motioned to the bed.

"He kept waking up. So I figured if I brought him in here, he'd sleep. At 4 he finally stopped waking up," Lucas said with a huge yawn. I looked at the clock, it was just shy of 9 in the morning.

"Want breakfast?" I asked Lucas as he stood to take Keith so I could get dressed.

"Mmm, I forgot, you cooked now," he said with a laugh, remembering how horrible of a cook I had been as a kid.

"I make a mean omelet!" I said with a smile, as I reached for my jeans from the night before.

"That sounds great. Want me to change Keith for you?" he asked, as he poked the baby's nose.

"Thanks," I called over my shoulder as I headed to my bathroom. I ran a warm shower, thankful to had finally gotten some sleep. I had forgotten how hard it was to be a single mom, with a newborn.

* * *

"So how's mommy-hood the second time around?" Damian asked 5 weeks later, while we were having coffee at a local diner.

"Tiring, but rewarding," I admitted wholeheartedly. I looked at my 6 week old, my heart melting.

"You look like you've lost weight," Damian commented absentmindedly.

"Eating hasn't been my biggest concern. I'm struggling to work from home, more and more these days," I admitted. I hadn't told my friends any of that. They just assumed that Keith was keeping me up at night. Which he was, but not as much as he used to. By the 4th week, he was sleeping through the night most nights.

"Why's that?" Damian asked, setting his coffee down.

"Because, as much as I love being an author, and as much as I love being at home with Keith all the time, it's boring after a while. I miss being out there, around people," I sighed. That was a huge change compared to who I was 5 years ago. I used to hate being in a crowd, up until Lucy was 2 years old, and we had established ourselves in New York. Brooke had hired me to help with inventory at Clothes Over Bros, and I had taken to the job instantly. After a while, she even had me model for one of her fashion shows, much to my surprise, since I was still bearing babyweight from my first child.

"Then have people over more often. I've spoken to Lucas, and he said you barely let anyone come over anymore, almost as if you're afraid to let people in," he suggested. What he said was true. As of lately, I rarely let anyone over, except for Haley, who was helping me readjust to being a mom.

"I just feel bad, like everyone's tiptoeing around me, but trying to help way too much," I said with a shake of my head. "It's not like this is my first time in the ring, and I don't have postpartum depression, and aside from the first two weeks, I haven't had any problems with Keith," I said, my voice cracking.

"Hey, hey, I know. They love you though. Lucas and Nathan have been trying to get me to come over and make you let them back into your life. They're just worried about you, that's all," he said softly as he reached across the table. "You have to remember, they know you as the strong, yet breakable sister they love to death," he added.

"Did you just quote Lucas?" I asked, a smile crossing my lips.

"Maybe," he admitted.

"You know, I'm really glad you found me," I told him honestly, my heart skipping a beat as his eyes lit up.

"I'm glad you welcomed me into your life with open arms," he admitted, as he stood and pulled me with him.

"I'd do anything to be able to see you smile everyday," he purred in my ear, as he dipped his head and gave me a soft kiss.

"Damian," I murmured.

"Mmm?" he replied, his eyes locked on mine.

"I think I could fall in love with you," I said softly.

"I'd be okay with that," he replied.

I stifled a giggle as he kissed me again, this time, pulling me against him.

"PDA is sooo 9th grade," a voice chimed from behind us. "And in front of my nephew?"

"Brooke, hey!" I replied, feeling my cheeks turn red.

"I heard you'd be here, and decided I'd come see one of my favorite nephews!" she said brightly as she pulled Keith gently from his stroller and kissed him multiple times, causing the him to giggle.

"So, are you two an item now?" Brooke asked eagerly.

"I suppose you could say that," I replied, sharing a look with Damian, who beamed.

"I knew it! Me and Nate tried to tell Luke and Haley that you two would end up together!" she squealed, bouncing Keith softly.

"You guys were betting on my lovelife?" I asked in mock disgust.

"Hey! It was the guys' fault! They were arguing over whether or not that was why you shut us all out!" she argued with a laugh.

"No. I just haven't felt like letting you guys take care of me and my son anymore!" I said with a laugh. Brooke looked shocked, then realized what I meant.

"So, how's he doing?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Really well. He's getting bigger everyday," I said brightly, the proud mother in me coming out.

"That's good! He's so big now! Aren't you little Keith Alan?" Brooke cooed as she rocked the baby in her arms. I smiled proudly, my heart leaping for joy. This afternoon was turning out to be one of my best.

"So, me and P Sawyer were thinking about offering to babysit tonight to get you out of the house for a while," she started. "You've been being such a great mom, and Luke said you might like a night off?"

"That'd be really great," I said honestly, looking at my son, seeing how content he was in his "aunt's" arms. His eyes glowed as he played with her dark hair.

"So it's a date then!" Brooke said happily, breathing a sigh of relief. "I have a few new things for him too, and you!" she added brightly.

"Alright, Ms. I love to spoil my nephew!" I laughed.

"Well he is the cutest kid in the world!" she cooed. "He's definitely going to be a charmer!"

"that he is," I said brightly, as I wrapped my arm around one of my best friends in the entire world. "That he is."

Leave it to Brooke to pick out the perfect evening dress. Dark red, with ruffles and a beaded top half. She knew my style, and knew what would flatter my far from perfect frame. I thanked her sincerely as I did a little spin on her command.

"Damn, you look gorgeous!" she squealed with delight. "Here, this too," she said as she handed me a pair of white heels.

"Thanks, Brooke!" I said brightly. I pushed one of my freshly curled curls behind my ear, a smile on my lips. My hand fell to the locket that still hung around my neck, as memories of High School filled my mind.

"So Damian seems really sweet," she offered as she zipped the dress up for me.

"He is. He's so eager to help with Keith, sometimes I swear, he would make an amazing father," I admitted with a soft laugh.

"Well you never know, he's had some experience afterall," Brooke agreed as she smiled brightly.

To say that night was one of the best nights of my life, is an understatement. Damian had been really sweet, and had taken me out for dinner and a movie. We spent the remainder of the evening getting to know one another better, and ended the evening at his apartment.

"So, Kailyn Scott, best night of your life?" he asked as I snuggled up next to him, still breathing heavy from our little "adventure".

"One of them," I admitted as he kissed my neck. "Giving birth to Keith was my best, though," I admitted sheepishly.

"Mmm, I'm sure," he purred.

"Stop," I moaned, my hormones getting the best of me.

"Why?" he coaxed, his voice dripping with seductiveness.

"Mmm. Damian," I moaned as he pulled me on top of him.

"You're beautiful" he whispered in my ear as he rolled me over, him now on top of me.

"Stop," I moaned, as he gently plunged into me.

"Stop?" he asked innocently.

"Never," I purred as I leaned into him.

"I really could love you, Damian Tyler," I moaned.

"I already do love you," he purred.

We both felt our bodies release at the same time. We pulled apart, both breathing heavily, our bodies still intertwined. I felt him kiss my knuckles as I giggled like a school girl.

We spent the rest of the night in our own personal paradise.

* * *

"C'mon! You can't leave us hanging!" Brooke squealed when I came home the next morning. Peyton was giving Keith a bath, and I smiled at the familiar scents of home.

"I am not sharing my sex life with you, Brooke Davis!" I said with a laugh.

"Ooooh! So there was sex!" Brooke squealed.

"So what if there was!" I laughed.

"Oh! I knew it!" she declared happily.

"Shush," I hissed with a laugh as I walked upstairs and into the nursery, where Peyton was getting Keith dressed.

"Hey pretty boy," I cooed as I picked him up.

"How was last night?" Peyton asked.

"Amazing. Thanks, you have no idea how much I needed that," I said truthfully.

"I'd bet. Anytime. Me and Brooke had a blast watching Keith. He's such a good baby," she said, her eyes glowing.

"You should have seen him the first night home. If Lucas hadn't come over, I probably would have lost my mind," I admitted.

"Luke told us that. He's so good now, though for how young he is," she said, her voice dripping with pride.

"That he is," I agreed, holding my son close to my chest. As fun as last night was, I couldn't lie, I missed my son terribly.

* * *

_I never feared the unexpected  
Till I found myself in this peculiar place  
Unaware of where I was headed  
Turns out it was your footsteps I had chased_

* * *

_1 year later..._

"Brooke, it's beautiful," I gasped as I spun around, letting the flowing white satin flow behind me.

"You look amazing," she breathed, her eyes watering with tears.

"Brooke, I can't thank you enough," I said truthfully.

"You don't have to, I'm just happy to see you happy," she said brightly.

"Wow, is that my hard ass sister under all that satin?" Lucas asked from across the room. I ran up to him and gave him a huge hug.

"Yea," was all I could say. "How are two of my favorite boys doing?" I asked, kneeling down next to Keith who was standing at his uncle's side, smiling hugely.

"I can't believe he's walking," Luke said softly.

"Me either. He's definitely getting big," I breathed as I scooped him up in my arms.

"Ma!" he said with his cute little giggle.

"Hey babyboy, did you have fun with Uncle Lucas?" I cooed.

"Ya!" He gurgled.

"I can't believe 'Lucas' was his first word," Lucas said with a shake of his head. Though it was sudden, and unexpected, Keith had said his first real word a few weeks earlier, and it just happened to be 'Ukiss,' is own way of saying Lucas. It was adorable whenever he said it.

"Ukiss, Ukiss!" he squealed with delight.

"What? Mama's no fun anymore?" I asked in mock fear.

"Ma!" he giggled.

"That's my boy," I said with a laugh.

"Okay, take the dress off before you spill something!" Brooke ordered. Lucas took that as his cue to leave the room.

After I was changed back into my normal clothes, I was joined by Lucas, Keith and my soon to be husband, Damian.

"You look beautiful," Damian said as he pulled me close.

"Thanks, you're looking good yourself," I said brightly.

"So, have you decided on your maid of honor yet?" he asked.

"Mhm. I'd going to have Lindsey and Peyton," I said with a smile.

Lucas looked shocked, then saw the laugh threatening to break through.

"No, I'm going to ask Haley, Peyton, and Brooke," I said, this time honestly.

"That's awesome, guess what?" Damian asked, his eyes shining brightly.

"What?" I asked, clearly amused.

"I picked my best man," he informed me.

"Oh?" I asked.

"What do you say Luke?" He asked, turning to my brother. Lucas nearly dropped Keith.

"Seriously?" he asked, stunned.

"Seriously. My brother hates weddings, and my other brother can't get the day off, so, what do you say?" He asked, laughing.

"I'm honored," Luke said truthfully. It had been our childhood dream to have my brother be part of my wedding.

"Then it's settled," Damian said, catching my huge grin. "You okay with that?" he asked me.

"It's literally, a dream come true," I breathed.

"So is the date set?" Luke asked, still holding my son in his arms.

"We're planning it for 6 months after Keith's 2nd birthday, so him and Jamie can be the ring bearers," I said brightly. We had already discussed it with Haley, who thought it was an amazing idea, especially since I still wanted time to get to know Damian before hand. That left us about a year and four months before the wedding, but I didn't care, not one bit. _  
"_That's adorable!" Brooke cooed as she came up next to us. "Have you picked out flowers? The decorations? The reception location?" she droned.

"Brooke, we have over a year left," Damian said with a laugh.

"Oh yea," Brooke said with a laugh.

"And it's a good thing we do," I said under my breath.

"Why's that?" Luke asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I'll tell you when Nathan and Haley, Peyton, Skills, and your mom get here," I said with a smile.

"My mom's coming back? Wait, what?" he asked, stunned.

"Yes. For tonight at least," I said brightly.

"How'd you work that out?" He nearly shouted, clearly excited to finally see his mother again after such a long time.

"Bitch-oria decided to send me an early wedding gift, and your mom wanted to meet her non-technical grandson," I said brightly. Though Karen was not my mother, she was the closest thing to one these days.

"My mother is flying Karen in?" Brooke asked, clearly amazed.

"Yea, since she kept my last check," I said sheepishly. "Which is fine, I never needed the money, but she's flying Karen in first class. I guess Andy's staying with Lily," I added.

"Ma! Ma!" Keith cried eagerly, wiggling in Lucas's arms.

"What's up babyboy?" I asked him as I took him.

"Ukiss!" he squealed with joy.

"Okay, little man, if you're going to keep this game going, you're going to be set down," I warned. My back was killing me.

"Ukiss! UKISS!" Keith wailed. Lucas took Keith from me, and as soon as he did, he called "Ma! MA!MAMA!"

"Keith Alan Scott Junior, if you do not stop this, you're going to go to bed right now," I warned with mock annoyance.

"You seem a little on edge today," Damian noted, taking Keith from Lucas. Keith finally settled down, having fun touching Damian's nose.

"I'm just tired," I lied.

"Mhm," he said, shaking his head.

Before long, Clothes Over Bros was filled with our friends and family.

"So what's the big news, K Scott?" Brooke teased.

"Well," I let it hang. This was going to be tricky. "Um..."

"Oh, spit it out!" Peyton joked.

"Yea girl, nothing you say can shock us," Skills agreed.

Damian watched me intently, bouncing Keith on his knee.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out.

I stared into the shocked faces of my closest friends.

"Except that, damn girl!" Skills broke the silence.

"I know, I know!" I moaned, covering my face with my hands.

"Tell me it's mine," Damian said with a huge grin.

"Obviously!" I said laughing.

"Then hey, we're going to have a little Scott-Tyler running around!" he joked.

"Yea, yes, we are," I said. My voice cracked, and Lucas was the first to notice that there was something more.

"Spill," he demanded lightly.

"We're actually going to have two Scott-Tyler's running around," I squeaked.

"Twins!" Nathan laughed.

"Daaaaayammmn girl, you keep poppin' babies out, you gonna be the mom of half the Tree Hill kids!" Skills laughed.

"Shut up! I didn't even know I could have twins!" I cried.

"Well sis, looks like you're going to have a lot on your hands," Nathan said with a huge smile.

"Yea, that's for sure. I feel so bad though. Little Guy is only just over a year, and I'm already pregnant," I sighed.

"It's fate," Damian and Lucas both said at the same time. They both shared a knowing look.

"Congratulations, you're turning into Tree Hill's slut," a voice came from behind. A voice I never thought I'd hear again. A voice that brought all my worst nightmares back, that chilled me to the core. The only voice that still haunted my dreams, still left me breathless, still left me lost, unsure of the answers, unsure of what questions could possibly be answered, one, single voice.

_Hey dad, look at me, think back and talk to me, did I grow up according to plan? … I'm sorry, I can't be perfect._

* * *

_AN: Probably one of my favorite chapters ever to write! :) I love how it played out. But who's voice did she hear? Who made her heart drop? Guesses?_


	3. Chapter 3

_You look back on what you had, who you were, and what you gave up along the way, to get to the places you are now. You try your hardest to please the people closest to you, but ultimately, it comes down to you. What does one do, when all they've ever known is turned around, everyone they thought they knew, turned away, everything they loved, everything they cherished vanished, and the world goes cold. What does one do?_

Damian came up behind me and put a protective arm around me, the other holding my son. I heard Karen gasp, felt Nathan and Lucas quickly flaking me, Peyton, Brooke and Haley froze, their eyes locked on my face. I felt my body stiffen, my blood go to ice as I took a deep breath. Lucas reached for one hand, while Nathan rested his hand on my shoulder, both silently telling me to keep calm.

"Oh, Kailyn, how I hate the name your mother chose for you. Look at you now, 23, and pregnant with your 3rd and 4th child, so soon after losing your first. Aren't you the World's Greatest Mom?" he taunted.

"Dan mother effing Scott," I growled. "Damian, take my son home, I'll meet you there,"

"But-" he started, but saw the anger in my eyes, and knew I didn't want my son around that much anger and hate.

"Take. My. Son. Home," I growled, my eyes showing just how much it hurt me to send him away.

"Alright," he said simply, slinging Keith's diaper bag over his shoulder, before giving me a quick kiss.

"Lovely name for your son by the name," he growled.

"Dan, why are you here? Lucas, Nathan, nor I want you here," I said softly, my voice dripping with poison.

"To see my only daughter well," he said sweetly.

"Shove it," I hissed.

"Why? I was never there for you growing up, you're my only daughter, I want to make things right," he pleaded.

"By coming in here calling me a slut?" I barked. "You have no daughter, Dan Scott! Keith was my father, even if not by blood. Keith was the one who raised me, when the man I thought was my father, walked away, when you decided Nathan was the only child that matters. Damnit Dan! You took Keith from me! You took my only father!" I screamed, tears in my eyes. "Don't you dare walk in here, and think that your words can change the past! You shot Keith out of cold blood. You turned a blind eye, knowing that I was your daughter, left me unclaimed, because you were so wrapped up in Nathan. My mother knew, I found the goddamn letter, she knew it was you! Dan, why? Why come back here, and try to uproot everything we put together without you? Why?" I finished with a sob. I felt Lucas come to my side and grab my arm, but I shook it off.

"It was never like that Kailyn," Dan started. "I never meant to-" he tried to continue, before I cut him off.

"You never meant to what? Abandon Lucas? Abandon me? Shoot Keith? What Dan, what did you not mean to do? Because in my opinion, you knew exactly what you were doing. And you know the sick part? I used to resent Nathan for being your pride and fucking joy. For some time, I hated Lucas because you at least had the balls to call him your son. But it's not their fault. They aren't to blame for the father they have. We were the innocent ones. Nathan, Lucas, me, Keith. We were the innocent ones, at the hands of a cold blooded killer, in the worst sense possible. You took your own brother's life. Could you honestly imagine Nathan doing that to Lucas? Could you? Damnit, Dan, you're a monster, a monster in the worst way possible. You kill people, physically and emotionally. You're a monster," I screamed. Then I threw myself at him, punching him over and over, all the anger, pain and hate from the last twenty-three years finally boiling over. I punched him until Lucas and Nathan both pulled me off, and even then, I continued to thrash and scream. It took everything in their power to keep me off him.

"Get out of here, Dan," Lucas growled. For his own sake, Dan stood, wiped his bleeding mouth, and left.

I was shaking with rage, my heart pounding in my chest so hard, that for a moment, I honestly believed it was going to explode.

"Breathe," Lucas instructed as he examined my hand, which was covered in blood, both mine and Dan's.

"I am," I grunted, still furious beyond words.

"Do you really hate me?" Nathan asked suddenly. "Or did you?"

"I did when I was younger, before I realized that you are nothing like our 'father'" I said honestly, my eyes meeting him. "You're my baby brother Nathan, whether Dan's our father or not. I never, ever will look at you with hate. You've been there for me, more than I deserve sometimes," I said truthfully as I pulled my hand away from Lucas long enough to give Nathan a warm hug.

"I...I never even knew about you when I was a kid," he said sadly, shaking his head.

"Trust me, I didn't even know I had brothers until that day in the hospital. Honestly, I always wondered, but I never really believed it. C'mon, I look more like my mom than I do Dan, and that made it a shock to find out that the kid I called my brother for years, actually was," I said, nodding at Lucas, who took my hand again, wiping it clean with a baby wipe his mother had handed him.

"You said more than I could have," Karen said softly. I had forgotten she was there, to be honest.

"It's been 23 years Karen, it was more than enough time to put together a list of reasons to hate the man," I said through clenched teeth.

"I think you broke your hand," Lucas said with a halfhearted laugh.

"Wouldn't be a surprise," I laughed, flexing my fingers. "And no, it's just pretty messed up," I added when all five fingers moved.

"I can't believe you chewed him out like that," Peyton commented. "Still that quick tempered smart ass, huh?"

"It's a Scott thing," I said softly, looking at Nathan, who nodded in agreement.

"How do you feel?" Lucas said suddenly. I noticed that his hand was lightly wrapped around my wrist, subtly checking my pulse.

"Royally pissed," I spit. My heart felt like it was on fire in my chest, like I had just ran a marathon, but he didn't need to know that.

"How far along are you?" Haley suddenly asked.

"10 weeks? Something like that," I said slowly, actually having to think about it. "Why?"

"Because that amount of stress..." she let it hang. I suddenly saw fear cross the faces of those closest to me. I tore my hand from Lucas's soft grip, my hand resting on my already growing baby belly. For once, I was thankful that I had always a little on the chunky side, since Lucy.

"Don't even say that Hales," Lucas said seriously, catching the tears that were welling in my eyes.

"Take me to the hospital," I said suddenly. "I need to be sure," I added, my voice barely a whisper.

"I'll take you," Karen offered, her eyes sad, as if she was expecting the worst.

"Thanks," I muttered, then threw a quick "Call Damian" over my shoulder as she ushered me out of the store and into her car.

"Everything is going to be okay," she kept saying over and over, as if she was trying to convince herself more than me.

"I need to be sure," I offered.

"I'm sure," she promised.

Once at the hospital, my doctor, thankfully, was available right away. She ushered me into an exam room and prepared for the ultrasound.

"This'll be a little cold," she said as she put the jelly on the stomach. I didn't even blink, I had been through this before.

"The babies are absolutely fine," she beamed as she turned the monitor towards Karen and I, so we could see the screen.

"But, I do think you're a little farther along than we first thought. See, originally, we set your due-date for June 6th, however, it seems you're actually due May 17th," she explained. "Are you going to be okay with that?" she asked, as if I had any option.

"Definitely. Keith was born on June 9th, so it works perfectly," I said brightly.

"Hear their little hearts flutter, you're doing great Kai, the only thing I'm concerned about, is the fact that your blood pressure was fairly high when we checked. You need to make sure you take care of yourself, so your babies can grow big and strong," she said, the maternal instinct in her voice clear as day.

"I know," I muttered.

"You've been taking your medicine, right?" she asked, her eyes locked on mine.

"Yes," I said truthfully. Damian never let me forget.

"Good. Well, since everything looks good with the babies, let me see that hand of yours," she demanded with a smile. I had forgotten that she had been an ER doctor for 4 years before becoming an OBGYN.

I lifted my hand, which was slightly cut and still a little swollen. She examined it, and said that from her findings, nothing was broken, but there may be a small hairline fracture.

"I'd love to take a few x-rays," she said soon after.

"No," I said simply, pulling my hand from her tender touch. "Not while I'm pregnant."

"Kai," Karen tutted softly.

"No x-rays while I am pregnant," I said simply. "I've dealt with plenty of hairline fractures in the past. I'll wear the brace for a few weeks, and it'll heal on it's own. If not, after I have the babies, I'll let you take all the x-rays you want."

"Kailyn..." Dr. Montgomery said, shaking her head.

"You know I'm right. Jesus, I practiced basketball on the same team as the boys in high school. You don't think I've been knocked over, trampled on, stepped on, and worse in those long weeks? Trust me. I can flex my fingers, I can feel everything, I'm fine," I said with a laugh. Karen just looked at me sheepishly, silently agreeing.

I think my words brought us both back six years, back to the beginning of senior year, when I straight out told Coach Whitey Durham that I was more than capable to practice with the boys. To which he agreed if I could keep up, I could.

"_C'mon, Kailyn, you pass like a girl," Nathan taunted as I passed him the ball late one afternoon in Tree Hill's Highschool gym._

"_That's because I am a girl," I said with a laugh as I followed him the length of the gym, making it difficult for him to get a clear opening to make a basket. As he leaped to do so, I jumped, just an inch higher than his aim, slapping the ball out of his hands._

"_Hey!" he let out a startled cry._

"_I might be a girl, but that doesn't mean I can't play basketball," I taunted as I moved down the gym, the ball perfectly at home as I dribbled, aimed, and shot from the three point line. _

"_I think, that means I win," I laugh brightly at his shocked expression. Up to that moment, he had been one point from winning. My 3 pointer ruined that for him._

"_Getting beat by girls now?" Coach Durham laughed from the doorway of the gym. Neither of us had noticed him until then._

"_She's really good Coach," Nathan said breathless._

"_That she is," he agreed. "How's the girl team doing?" he asked me._

"_Decent, but I'm quitting," I said truthfully._

"_What?" He and Nathan both asked, stunned._

"_I'm tired of playing, I mean, I love the game, but there's more to life than basketball. I'm tired of stressing myself out over whether or not we're going to make it to state, whether I'm going to be strong enough to make it professionally. I don't want to play professional ball. I miss playing with the guys at the River Court, just for fun, you know?" I said, taking a deep breath. "Anyway, I'm always missing the guy's games, because I'm too wrapped up at practice. I'd rather cheer-lead."_

"_Seriously?" Nathan asked, shocked._

"_Yea. I'll still come to practice, and keep you guys on your toes, but I'd rather be able to cheer my favorite Tree Hill team on, than play on one half as good," I said truthfully. _

"_You're a smart girl," was all Whitey had to say to that._

"You're doing so great," Karen said on the car ride back to my house.

"Thanks," I said softly, my hands resting on my already forming baby belly. I couldn't believe that I was already 14 weeks, instead of 10 like I had first thought.

"You know, I never would have seen it coming, you, being the mother of four, at 24 years old," Karen said softly. I loved her for still counting Lucy, even though I would never witness my eldest daughter growing up.

"I know. Trust me. I never planned on having four kids by 24 either. Keith was planned. At least, planned enough that I wasn't too surprised when I learned I was pregnant. These two on the other hand, wow. I'll be carting two newborns, and a 2 year old around!" I said with a laugh.

As we pulled up to my driveway, I was more than happy to see Damian's car parked out front. Before we could even get out of the car, he was rushing out the door, Keith in his arms.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, his voice dripping with concern.

"Everything is perfectly fine, darling. May 17th." I told him brightly. "We learn the sex in six weeks," I added with a smile.

"Oh, thank god! I was so worried!" he said as he pulled me into his arms. I kissed him softly, then kissed Keith, who was giggling softly.

"How are my two favorite boys?" I asked as I took my son from his arms.

"Ukiss?" Keith asked.

"Uncle Lucas is probably at home," I said with a laugh.

"No. Ukiss!" Keith said urgently. I glanced at Karen who just shook her head.

"Keith, Lucas will come by later to see you," I promised my ever eager son.

"Ma! Ukiss!" Keith said urgently, his tone high and shrill, making my heart race.

"Take Keith a second," I said as I handed my son to Damian. I looked at Karen, who was getting ready to drive off.

"Karen, let me come with you," I said suddenly.

"Alright?" Karen replied, confused.

"I'll be right back," I told Damian, who was watching me, as if to read my expression.

Deep in my heart, I had this feeling that my brother needed me. No words could describe the bond we had formed over the last 23 years, and no words could describe the feeling welling in my chest. But as we rounded the block, I let out a greatful breath as I saw Lucas sitting on the front steps, his eyes watching us approach.

"Lucas!" I called happily as soon as I was out of the car.

"Hey sis!" he replied brightly as he stood and wrapped me in a warm hug. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yes, other than my son crying for you like you were in need of some rescuing!" I said with a soft laugh. Sometimes, I let things get to my head without thinking logically.

"Oh? Well, I guess that's my cue?" He said laughing.

"I guess so. Sometimes, I swear, that boy loves you more than he loves his own mother!"

* * *

_Some say the world will end in fire,  
Some say in ice.  
From what I've tasted of desire  
I hold with those who favor fire.  
But if it had to perish twice,  
I think I know enough of hate  
To say that for destruction ice  
Is also great  
And would suffice._

* * *

_6 weeks later..._

"Mama!" Keith cried from his spot on the couch. I looked up from my book and laughed as he held up his little orange basketball that Lucas had given him the afternoon before. "Ball," he giggled.

"Yea, that's a ball," I laughed as I set the book aside and walked over, scooping him up in my arms. He giggled happily, his hands lightly tugging at my long hair.

"Mama!" He giggled, his eyes shinning brightly. I kissed the top of his head, smiling at the fact that his hair had darkened over the last year. Instead of a golden blonde, it was becoming a light brown.

"Keith!" I said with a laugh as he poked my nose.

"Uppy?" he giggled, pointing at Karma, who was laying by the door, her head on her paws.

"Puppy," I corrected as I set him down. He instantly started crawling towards the dog, who simply lifted her head and let out a soft bark as he pulled her tail. She had become so well mannered, sometimes it surprised me. She let Keith crawl on her back, making no move. I actually let her sleep under his crib now, feeling completely at ease with the young dog watching over him at night.

"Hey beautiful," Damian called as he walked down the stairs, his hair still wet from his shower.

"Hey handsome," I purred as I went and gave him a kiss. He laughed and rested his had on my stomach.

"Ready to find out what we're having?" he asked sweetly.

"Definitely. Especially since Brooke has taken it upon herself to buy way more than we'll ever need," I said with a laugh.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"A girl and a boy," I said honestly. I would give anything to have a little girl again.

"We'll see, I'm rutting for two boys," he chuckled.

"Come here Keith," I called as I knelt down. He crawled to me eagerly, his little hands moving faster than his legs. I scooped him up, and waited as Damian grabbed the diaper bag, before holding the door open for me.

"Thanks," I said eagerly as I walked out into the bright morning sun.

"Hey sis," Lucas called, half jogging up the block.

"Hey little brother," I laughed. He swooped and gave Keith a hug, before taking him from my arms, hugging me with his free one.

"I'm coming with," he said simply. I shook my head, but didn't argue. It would have done no good. Lucas had been very adamant about coming to every single one of my appointments, and I learned early on that arguing with him would have been absolutely pointless.

"Let's go then, we're going to be late," Damian said as he led the way down the sidewalk. He glanced between the two cars, unsure which one I wanted to take, my recently repaired Volvo, or his minivan.

"Mine," I said eagerly, laughing as he gave me a sad look.

"The carseat's in mine," he argued.

"My car. End of story," I said sharply. My back was killing me, and I had to admit, the hormones were finally starting to turn me into a bitter bitch. Which was why I secretly thought I was carrying girls. When I was pregnant with Keith, I was calm and mellow, but with Lucy, I was a raging bitch most days during the earlier months.

"Fine," Damian said softly, not wanting to make a scene in front of my most protective brother.

"He's afraid of you," I whispered to Lucas as we joined him at my car.

At the doctors, I was impatiently waiting for the news. The jelly was cold on my stomach, and my back was hurting worse than ever in the stiff examining table, bed...thing.

"Congratulations! You're having girls!" Dr. Montgomery said brightly as she turned the screen to us. I felt tears well in my eyes as I squeezed Damian's hand.

"I'll be outnumbered, huh?" Damian laughed.

"We're having girls," I said softly, my heart suddenly feeling broken in two. I looked at Lucas, who saw the undeniable fear in my eyes.

"Does everything look okay, with our daughters?" I asked softly.

"Everything looks absolutely fine, Miss Scott. Trust me. You're doing everything absolutely right. Your blood pressure is normal, your vitals good. Hun, you're doing better than most young mothers. Even ones who are in the same boat as you. I'm so proud," she said softly, squeezing my other hand to empathize her conviction.

"Is it too early still to know if we should expect any problems with their hearts?" I asked, my voice breaking.

"It is, but if they were to have any, we'd be able to tell in about 15 weeks. If you'd like, we can run some genetic tests? However, I must warn you, tests of that sort are dangerous, especially with twins. You'd have a better chance just waiting it out, and we'd know better once they were born," she said honestly.

"I'll wait then," I said unable to hide the fear in my voice.

"It's going to be okay, Kai," Lucas said softly.

"I know," I said simply. I wanted the conversation to end, before I started crying.

"Alright, well if none of you have anymore questions..." Dr. Montgomery let the question hang.

"No, I believe we covered everything," I said lightly.

"Alright, then I'll see you in about 3 and a half months. Don't hesitate to call or come in if you have any questions or concerns," she said, her eyes bright with true compassion. She loved her job, that was clearly notable.

We walked down the long hallway, Keith now cradled in my arms. I looked at my beautiful son, and silently asked myself how I ever got so lucky, so lucky to not only have an amazing man at my side, but an amazing son, amazing brothers, and truly amazing friends.

"You want to stop anywhere before we head home?" Damian asked.

"Yea, actually," I said softly. "But we can drop Lucas off first, I definitely don't think he'd want to go where I'm going," I added as I looked at my blonde brother. His eyes widened, but he said nothing.

"Where exactly are we going?" Damian asked, his eyes almost as wide as Luke's.

"I have to see my father," I said darkly. "The biological one. The other can rot in hell for all I care," I added, forgetting that I had recently told Damian pretty much everything about my family.

"I'm going with you," Lucas said sternly, his eyes still wide, concern clearly written across his face.

"Luke," I said slowly.

"It's not up for debate," he barked. I flinched at his tone, but nodded. Always the protective one.

"Mama?" Keith asked as he wiggled in my arms.

"Yes, baby?" I said softly as I looked into his glowing eyes.

"Papa!" he said brilliantly. He wasn't looking at Damian, nor Lucas. He was looking into the distance, almost as if he knew exactly where we were going.

"If you say so," I cooed, as I kissed his little hand. "If you say so."

The ride was quiet as Damian skillfully drove down the long roads leading to Dan's beach house. I couldn't help but shiver, the thought of seeing him, on my own accord, was beyond unbelievable. After his uncanny, untimely appearance months ago, I had made a vow to never allow the man who was never a father to me, back into my life. But with twin daughters on the way, and with knowing that Dan knew about our shared heart condition better than either Lucas or myself, I had no other option. I had done research, I had talked to doctors, and I still didn't find the ease I needed. As far as I knew, Keith was 100% healthy, but that could easily mean that one, if not both of my unborn daughters would suffer. I couldn't bring myself to believe that, not for a moment, not after losing my eldest child.

I walked up the twisted path, the sand making it slightly harder to keep a very wiggly Keith in my arms. Lucas saw my struggle and took him, careful not to spook me before I saw him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, as I reached the front door.

Damian wrapped his arm around my waist, as Lucas held my son tight. I took a deep breath, and knocked softly. I almost prayed he wasn't home, until a very stunned Dan Scott opened the door.

"Kailyn? Lucas?" he asked, his face turning from one of being stunned to one of pure disbelief.

"Can we come in?" I asked softly, unsure of my actions, yet following my heart.

"Of course," he said, as he stepped aside, making room for us to enter. Once inside, I took Keith from Lucas, and held him tightly in my arms.

"Dan, this is Keith Alan Scott, the second," I said softly, not wanting to call Keith 'junior' anymore. My son twisted in my arms and smiled hugely at his grandfather. "He is your grandson. Unlike Jamie, however, you will never bond with my son. You will only know him through pictures and maybe, just maybe, you'll get a card every now and then. My son will never know the monster you are," I added.

"Then why bring him here? To taunt me?" he asked sharply.

"No. To show you the family, the daughter, you gave up so eagerly. The life I've created for myself and my son, my brothers, my sister in law, my family. The life you will never be a part of," I said softly, still holding Keith tightly in my arms. "And for my daughters," I added as an afterthought.

"You're having girls," Dan said, his voice tiny, compared to his normally overly confident tone.

"Yes, and you will never see them," I said softly. "Just like you will never hand me off at the alter, a task that was destined for my uncle, my father, until you took him from us. You will not watch your only daughter walk into the arms of her husband, because you were never a father to her," I said softly, yet bitterly.

"Have you come just to make me feel like crap?" he asked, overly aware of the child in my arms.

"No. I have come, to grant you one mercy," I said softly. "You deserve to meet your grandson. You deserve to know that he will always know you as the distant, _dead_, grandfather he never needed to know. But I want you to know my son, as the carbon copy of your eldest child, and the purity of the brother you murdered," I said. Though my tone was soft, my words were cold, heartfelt, and sharp. I saw Dan cringe back, finally at a loss of words.

"Dan, you gave up an amazing family, not only did you lose me, but you lost Lucas, Nathan, and your grandchildren," I said, my voice strong.

"I-I never meant to leave you, Kailyn, I didn't know until you were older..." Dan said weakly, his eyes tearing over.

"Bull. I learned, after my mother's death, that she knew all along, but she didn't force me to know you, because she knew what a monster you were, for that, I'm grateful. Because instead of you corrupting me, Keith taught me how to be a good woman, how to grow up to be an amazing mother, and how to love unconditionally. I don't, for a single moment, believe you could have given me any of that," I said softly, as I kissed my son's head. "And you should regret abandoning your family, Dan, because your family is truly amazing. Every single person in it, other than the monster of a man you are," I added, then turned to leave.

"Kai, please," Dan begged. I kept walking, sensing Lucas and Damian at my heels.

"Papa?" Keith cried in my arms, twisting to see the descending body of his grandfather as we made our way down the path, back to my car.

"No, Keith. Not Papa," I said lightly as I buckled him in and handed him his favorite stuffed basketball, a gift from Jamie.

"MeMe!" he giggled, saying his nickname for Jamie, one the little 5 year old adored, as long as Keith was saying it.

"Yea, that's from Jamie," I laughed as I kissed his head. Luke climbed in next to him, and kept him occupied as we made the long trek home.

"Was it worth it?" Damian asked me softly, taking my hand in his, squeezing it softly.

"Yes, I needed closure," I said softly. Then an idea came to me. "What do you say, before the girls are born, we move? We can keep our Tree Hill home, but let's move away, start new somewhere?"

"That's not a bad idea, since we're going to need more bedrooms anyway," he agreed, then looked back at Lucas, who had a look of shock across his face.

"Somewhere nearby, so we can be close to family," Damian added.

"Definitely. Tree Hill will always be home, but I want to start fresh. The wedding will be here, though. Where it all began," I said, my eyes lighting up when a certain house came to mind. "We can buy back my mom's old house in Charlotte!"

"It's for sale?" Damian asked eagerly.

"Yes, and the owner said he'd love to sell it back to us, I just remembered that he called a few weeks ago!" I said brightly. "Damian, it was huge, my grandfather built it in the early 1900's, a full two story brick house, with six bedrooms, one huge master, three bathrooms, and the cutest eat in kitchen around! It's a mansion to say the least, but so beautiful and homey, it doesn't even feel that big. The backyard has a pool, and a basketball hoop, and a beautiful deck that overlooks the garden! Oh Damian!" I cried eagerly. My mother had sold the home when she learned she was pregnant, and that had broken her heart, but she wanted to raise me in Tree Hill, instead of a bigger city.

"We'll do it!" Damian chimed.

"Yay!" I said happily, my heart soaring at the thought. It was a beautiful house, and it would be perfect to start fresh in. I used to love the stories my mom would tell me about the old house, and couldn't wait to call it's current owner.

"You're really going to leave?" Lucas asked softly, his voice sad.

"Lucas, you're the one who was always telling me to reach for the stars. I really want this. I need to get away from here, for a few weeks, maybe a few years. Charlotte isn't that far, c'mon, Luke, if anything, you and Lindsey can come with us, if you want," I said brightly, having forgotten about the back house. "The current owner built a back house when his daughter had her kids. I remember he was telling me all about it over the phone," I said brightly.

"Leave Tree Hill?" Lucas said, as if it were too impossible to believe.

"You can come back to coach the Ravens, don't worry!" I said brightly. "Or, Damian, the kids and I can visit you guys every other weekend, after the girls are born. C'mon Luke, it'd be good for us," I said brightly.

"Lucas, I know she's your sister and all, but you can't keep her forever," Damian kidded softly. "She'd be safe, and we'd call the moment she went into labor," he added.

"And I'm not asking permission," I said with a laugh. "I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions."

"You're absolutely right," Lucas finally resigned. "But when you do move, you'd better let me and the boys come along to help you unpack. No heavy lifting, remember?" he said, his tone soft, yet demanding.

"Sir, yes sir!" I said with a laugh. I reached back and took his hand softly. "I really need this Lucas," I said softly. It was then that he saw the tears that had filled my eyes. "I need to feel close to my mom," I whispered "Away from the past."

"Alright," he said softly.

So it was decided, Damian, Keith and I were moving to Charlotte. When we got back to the house, I called the owner, and he eagerly told me he'd sell it to me, for half the asking price, because he knew I'd take care of it. We set a date, and soon, I was calling everyone and anyone to bring boxes over so we could pack up as easily as possible.

The date was set for a month later. Luke and Nathan agreed to drive up the day before we did, to help the movers start dropping off the first of three truck loads.

To say we were excited was an understatement.

Deep in my heart, I knew this was the best choice. I needed to get out of Tree Hill, to recover after losing Lucy, to get ready for the arrival of my twin daughters, and to allow Keith to grow up, away from the drama and haunting memories of Tree Hill.

But somehow, I knew I'd still be spending most of my time at home. My forever home, in little old Tree Hill.

* * *

_AN:: I loved writing this chapter. I put a lot of my real emotions into it, and feel as if it turned out fairly well. I need some feedback though, as always, it's greatly appreciated. Any ideas for baby names? Remember, both twins are girls! :) _


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